not really a poem, just a childish lament

missing Lee where is he?
what is he? who is he to me? and i to him? and we to they and all of that....
it's been weeks since March 25th, the last text message
it's now April 11th
why did he leave without saying goodbye?
is he really where Bud says?
is this all a joke?
played by whom? and why?

Aaron's so angry he's punching fists in the wall
(to cover the ones in his heart he thinks)

i've been to the mountains and back
heard Rob Funk sing all those great bluesy tunes
with my new friend Mike
skiied the bowls at Blackcomb and Whistler
contemplated all i've done and been
all the loves i've lost
all the men i tried to help along the way
and still, here i am alone
since Christmas Eve

Mike W text messaged me the night before i left for Vancouver
how odd, what timing ....and what he wants of me i don't know
the last man to have broken my heart, ....before Lee

is it time to post that Poison song Lee?
time for the lament?
Bud said he'd let me know the outcome of your case on Tues. last...still not a word, no e-mail, no text message, no off-line IM, nada...still i wait...
i miss all those "music dates" we had on-line since Jan./Feb/March....where have you gone my friend, my love?
why have you gone away?

why do all men leave me eventually?
is this the better way? should i just move to the mts. and live there amongst bears and deer
soon i'll retreat back to the country to live there alone amongst wolves and coyotes....i suppose i always was the loner type, and still i hoped for a companion to join me there
the music man....the wanderer...the one that runs like the stream....bubbling over the rocks in my heart
i'll wait still....perhaps he'll come yet

katherine bandiera
April 11, 2006